Linda Karlsson's blog

Some Life Adjustments Including: Back To Teaching

Baby is sleeping so I am here.

It's been a while since I posted on the blog and still, I don't have a difficult baby, or a hard time getting a moment to myself.

It's just so incredibly wonderful, everything, that I don't need many moments to myself.

I'd say I'm very happy right now. Being a mother has radically increased the quality of my life.

Surrender and Instinct

I am re-discovering early mornings. They are actually beautiful and I feel very creative very early in the morning.

This morning is one of them.

My son woke up at around 6 am, I fed him, and now, an hour and a half later, my husband is with the baby and I'm in the kitchen with Desert Dwellers playing in my Spotify and my yogurt and muesli in my belly and my decaf coffee smelling wonderfully seductive (but it's a trap and I know it; having to give up coffee for breastfeeding was hard, I'm a coffee-addict).

So the theme of today's musings is: SURRENDER and INSTINCT.

Post-natal practice -- getting it back

Today I went back on the yoga mat for the first time since the birth of my son.

Three weeks exactly have passed since the day he arrived into my life and turned my existence upside down. The world as I knew it ended abruptly and I will never look back.

I am however looking forward to getting my body back. It was a shock to be on the mat and to feel what giving birth and pregnancy has done to my physical body. All the work, all the fine tuning of the bandhas, muscles, lifting, tucking and breathing, has literally been un-done.

And then there he was

Hello from the other side of pregnancy!

Here I am. I survived.
Survived and was re-born as a mother.

So, how was it?
How was it giving birth?
Did all the years of yoga practice somehow help?
Was I in control of the pain and the process of the birth?
Was I able to control the pain with the help of stilling of the thoughts and attachment to the bodily sensations?

The answer is yes and then no.

Not Juliette Binoche at the moment

I took my man to the airport early this morning. He's going to the mainland to buy a car.

Normally it's me leaving, to go to Barcelona or Sweden or London.

6 am sunrise and the skies were breathtaking. Purple lined perfectly contrasty clouds lingering low in the horizon, looking like mountains far away.

But now I'm kind of stuck on this island. There are no mountains far away. Only sea and beautiful beaches no matter which corner you go to. And you cannot go very far.
 

Becoming Unstuck

During my years of studying Indian philosophy at SOAS in London, I questioned the Western way of practicing yoga. I questioned it a lot. So much that it became like a mission to try and understand why we wouldn't take the whole package of yoga, but only stayed with the physical. The full package deal promised so much more. Why weren't we interested in it? Was it too "religious" or too "spiritual" for a Western lifestyle? But why would we then spend money and time on therapy, antidepressants, etc.? 

Hi. I'm Linda. I'm 31 Weeks Pregnant.

Hi. 

I'm Linda. 

I'm 31 weeks pregnant. 

There. I said it. I stood up and admitted it just like an attendee of an AA meeting. 

Except in my case I cannot really stand up and admit anything, because if I stood up in front of you reading this, you would see my situation. 

So yeah, it has to be said, as this is a text, and we are not together in the same circle. At least we’re not physically, right now. 

And it needs to be said because it is the one and only thing happening in my life right now. 

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