I just finished a practice here in some small village along the Mekong River, Laos, on a wooden deck overlooking the river, in my guesthouse. My boys are sleeping but that wasn't the case the whole practice ― it has been divided over a few hours, into at least three parts, while baby fell asleep, woke up, had a bath, I went for lunch, etc etc… I still haven't come up with a system for how to get my daily practice into the day. There are no routines, no clear structure, and we are on the move and baby still needs me the most as I'm the one who has his food/comfort/sleepingpill in my breasts.
So whenever I can, I try to squeeze it in. I have to admit, it's not that easy. Some days NADA… other days a few seated asana next to a waterfall we're visiting… but other times I do get a full practice in, albeit divided into three and with fried noodle-breaks.
I like to observe people always and I tend to observe the yoga people more, especially on the road. It's so interesting to see how it's such a show to some. It's like they have to show to the world that they are yogis and they do it theatrically, like it's a drama, like the whole world needs to know it.
They sit in half lotus inside the little squeezed restaurants and they say a prayer with oversized gestures before their vegetarian meal. They say thank you and they lay a hand over their hearts as they look the other in the eyes a tad bit too long. They take their yoga mats into the full sun, by the pool/river/lake, or on the rooftop, and do outrageously weird practices including honking noises and piggy sounds. They go to massage courses and explain to others that they "know" about deeper states of transcendence, because they are YOGA TEACHERS, don't you know.
Simultaneously I'm following a few famous yoga people on Instagram and Facebook, and I'm observing the pretty girls with perfectly fit bodies and colourful leggings posting pictures of themselves in advanced yoga asanas, daily. Wow.
What is it about THE SHOW?
Isn't a yoga practice a deeply PERSONAL, internal thing? Or…?
If I was a real yogi, I would now publish this post together with a mega-schmega-advanced-raja-eka-pada-schmada-one-legged-tiptoe-clad-in-beautifully-pink-legging-golden-skin-asana-picture.
But I'm not a real yogi. Sorry. Here's my yoga-selfie:
Because that's how it looks when I practice. On an internal level I have a very vivid picture, though. But it's hard to describe what happens inside me. It's like… I enter a room, cluttered with stuff, dust and cobwebs. It's dark and it smells pretty disgusting. During the practice I throw away all the garbage, I hoover all the dust, I sweep all the cobwebs out. The light enters the room, and reveals a bright, white space. The space is empty, warm, and clean. It has wooden floors and white walls, and it feels welcoming and supportive.
But maybe that's not the goal? Maybe the goal is to have 80,000 followers on Instagram? Maybe I have it all WRONG??